I'm Pregnant - the First Trimester

I always knew that if and when I was meant to be a Mum I would be. I found thinking about making 'that decision' to 'try' very overwhelming to be honest. I will never be ready. I love me time, I love putting myself first and who will ever be ready for a baby, no sleep and their life to rapidly change? Ok maybe some people.

Archie and I had spoken about it several times over the years and it was never on our radar, we knew we would cross that bridge when the time was 'right'. 

As 2017 came to a close so did lots of other things in our life and with closure usually comes new beginnings so we found ourself having the conversation, you know 'is the time right?' 

I have lots of friends, friends of friends and clients who are struggling through fetility issues and my heart breaks for them. I had spent my whole life trying to NOT get pregnant and what now all of a sudden I want to try but the outcome is completely out of my control? Yep. Well thats daunting enough, isn't it? As a human I know I am not the only one who gets comfort in a plan, knowing the outcome and being in control of the situation some how. 

So as I approach 30, I said to Archie - I don't know how long this may take so maybe we should start 'not being careful', turns out we are extremely blessed and here I am pregnant and we are preparing to welcome our baby into the world this Spring. I have had to remind myself that at the beginning of the year I chose 'TRUST' as my word for the year. Divine timing?

After lots of interest on Instagram I chose to share my pregnancy journey with you all. I want you to know that I am sharing my experiences, feelings and ideas with you all from a place of love and authenticity. This is purely my experience and is no way right, wrong or otherwise I know this is a sensitive topic for many couples (you are always in my thoughts). 

One of the main reasons I choose to do this work is because I love helping people create a life where they feel their very best. Which doesn't mean it's always positive, upbeat and pretty like Instagram suggests. So if I felt ALL THE FEELS in my first trimester I know for sure that other women are going through the same thing, if they can find comfort in knowing its not all sunshine and rainbows but it is ok and we will get through it then my job is done. Speaking openly and honestly is hard and sometimes we get vulnerability hangovers but we are all human and life isn't good without bad and the more we speak about our experiences the better we all feel about ourselves.

We are not alone.

There is no right or wrong and we are doing a bloody good job. So I'll continue to share with you the good and the bad and you will discover why I hang up my coaching shoes for quite some time.

Turns out my body was prepared and changing at a rapid rate way before my mind was mentailly prepared for this adjustment. 

This human body is purely amazing, to think I am growing another human is insane. My boobs grew what feels like 5 cups sizes overnight, my appetite for healthy/nourishing food went walkabout, my mouth was producing so much excess salvia it was gross (but so thankful I didn't get morning sickness - I cannot throw up so I am not sure how that would have worked), I was exhausted 24/7 and it felt like my inspiration/drive/motivation had also gone walkabout. So I was feeling far from 'myself' but I was meant to be happy and grateful I was pregnant?!

One minute I was like OMG you should be so grateful you are having a baby who cares how you feel and the next minute I felt so awful all I wanted to do was sleep, eat cheese/crackers/lollies/chips and think WTF have we made the right decision???????? (bit late for that thought, but thanks anyway ego)

YEP those hormones were taking me on a roller coaster of a ride.

And I guess coming from me, who generally feels great, eats a wholesome balanced diet, feels inspired and motivated about life it was pretty hard to adjust to. Ok looking back I found it very hard to adjust too.

+++ I told you this was going to be an open and honest reflection of my feelings. +++

Once two days had passed but felt like a week Archie bought home a card and flowers and we 'celebrated' I guess it had somewhat sunk in. We were going to be parents.

The strangest bit for me was my body was changing my life was changing and my mind was trying to keep up and I couldn't share this news with anyone?? 

I understand everyone is different and has different values and beliefs on when they choose to share their news but I am a pretty open person and it felt strange. Anytime I did tell someone it felt nice to share the excitement with them and even just talk about it.

So I would have to say my favourite part of the first trimester was sharing the news, making the phone calls, sending texts and making the news public. 

 
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By around 12 weeks I started feeling a bit better, a bit more human and obviously my mind had caught up with the adjustment and was finally on board (mostly). I opened up my coaching books again, with feeling so out of sorts I didn't think I was in any place to coach clients {thanks for being so understanding}.

Seeing the scan was epic - I had tears in my eyes. Yep this is happening there is 100% a human in my belly. The little babe was moving and had it's legs crossed so Archie is adamant it's a girl. The sonographer wanted a different angle so I had to jump up and down for a minute and then it had moved so she got the angle she wanted. It was all happening (pinch me).

I am going to leave it there for the first trimester, all the juiciness to come in the next blog post for the second trimester. (finished writing this just over half way through my second trimester)

What no one told me/ I never knew/ my experiences:

- I was out of breath in a blink of an eye

- I was producing SO much excess saliva 

- I was exhausted all of the time (I had heard this one time and time again)

- gas/ flatulence/ farts (because our digestion slows down to absorb more nutrients - I know mind blowing)

- My boobs were SO sore and SO huge almost as soon as I pee'd on that stick

- Being a Nutritionist you could say I know a thing or two about food and it's importance to our health......but for a while there it was like I needed to see a Nutritionist - nothing healthy or nutritious was appealing. One night I was home alone and got chips from the fish and chip shop for dinner (just chips) and another night Archie asked me 'can we have some greens with dinner tonight?' haha I never thought it would happen to me but it did. Why would my body not crave nutritious food, after all it is growing a baby?

- I also lost my appetite for water, and those who know me know I am obsessed with staying hydrated (think 2-4L/day) - so strange.

- Nightmares + epic dreams that would wake me up (I rarely remember dreams much less waking up in a panic thinking they were SO real)

Highlights/ what I enjoyed:

- Sharing the news, definitely top of the list. 

- Appreciation for just how quick my body was changing, right before my eyes.

- Listening to my body on a whole new level. I like to pride myself on tuning in and listening to my body but the second I found out I was pregnant it was taken to a completely new level. I thankfully maintained an exercise routine, but already I wasn't just doing it for me but for bub too.

- 12 week scan, seeing the bub move and to remind me there is definitely a human in my belly. For Archie to see it too, he held my hand and we couldn't stop smiling.

- Downloading the app What to expect and watching the weekly video to get insight into how the bub was growing

- Putting my name on the Birth Center 'list' - and then getting the call, I was in!!! I think I was just past 12 weeks when I got the call. I was so relieved - this was high on my priority list to match my values and beliefs around the birthing environment and how I intend to welcome the babe to the world.

Some resources that were recommended to me:

Books - Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering. Nourishing Traditions. The first 40 days. Birthing from within. Well adjusted babies. Birth without violenceChildbirth without fear. Hypnobirthing: The mongan method. The Forth Trimester.                                                      Authors - Ina May Gaskin, Michel Odent                                                                        Podcast - How to have an ecstatic childbirth.                                                       Documentaries: FMTV have a wonderful selection.

Whats to come - the second trimester:

Meeting my midwife - 20 week scan - Feeling human again - Booking in my hypnobirthing course - Growing the bump/ + bump ritual - Feeling bubs first movements (+ Archie feeling it) - Chiropractor - Floating.

There you have a little recap, some thoughts, feelings and resources to take what you need from. Looking back now that it has past I can confidently say I put on a brave face. I always said I was fine, because mostly I was - although I wasn't exactly feeling fine. Now (hindsight, is a marvellous thing isn't it) that I am feeling fine and back to my 'normal' self I think wow I just tried to hold it all together and stay positive. Mindset is such a big part of my life, my belief system, what I work on with my clients and my reality which explains it I think. But don't forget we are allowed to feel all of the FEELS and embrace it all, the good the bad the known and the unknown. This is life. And in this case a brand new life.

Please share with me below, what you loved/loathed about your pregnancy/cies. More resources we can all benefit from and any tips you have for me to take into the rest of my pregnancy. It is always easier to look back, once the time has passed and say I wish I did more of XXXX. Your input is always appreciated.

Lotsa Love and Hugs from me and the bump xo

P.S - {NO} we are choosing not to find out the sex of the baby but feel free to place your guesses below :)