Being busy, people pleasing and putting everyone else first is NOT cool or fulfilling but more so a quick way to feel lost, incomplete, not good enough and have you questioning..... pretty much everything in your life sooner or later.
I'm just going to be really honest with you here, put my hand up and say I have been there. That was me. Being someone who thrives off helping others it is very easy to do. But several years ago I realised I hated spending time by myself, I had to be around people and be busy all of the time. So when I had this realisation, it was quite confronting and I felt a bit lost and like something was missing.
It was then I realised I was suppressing my emotions, my feelings and I had this emptiness inside of me. I wasn't looking after myself and I wasn't doing things I love. Don't get me wrong life was 'good'. I had absolutely nothing to complain about - but there was still a sense of emptiness, something was missing.
I was craving something. I was craving something more to life. So I started with Self Love.
I figured that was a good place to start. Everything I was reading and listening to at the time pointed to that - so I just had to get started. Now I live by self love, I swear by it, and I help my clients set up a strong self love game. They are always so amazed how small simple changes implemented regularly can make such a big difference in their life.
That is how powerful it is. (I can't stress this enough) Changes don't have to be big or drastic but moreso simple, bite size and achievable tasks that make you feel good.
So what are 5 things you can experiment with adding to up your self love game?
Here are my top 5 tips...
- Ask yourself "How am I feeling", every single morning when you wake up. I have found this simple question deeply moving. By acknowledging me, my body and my feelings it sets me up to be more in-tune all day and allows me to act accordingly. Energetic - I will go for that run, meet my friends and smash my assignment . Tired - I will go for a stroll, have alone time, and an extra early night.
- Deep belly breathes. One of my all time favourite things to do, especially when I am feeling tired, stressed, anxious or overwhelmed. It instantly calms our nervous system, reminding our body that we are safe and therefore it can stop releasing adrenaline which is SO important for our health. I tell my clients to experiment with putting a reminder on their phone, post it notes on their desk or even while they are on the toilet. (hey, don't know it till you try it)
- SLEEP! Ok, it deserves capital letters. This is hands down my favourite. Get a solid nights rest. Minimum 8 hours, but listen to your body. My body enjoys 9 hours, I don't always get it but I aim for it. I have been getting into bed around 8pm this semester, sounds really early for some but it makes me a better human, supports my health and thats what I am about - doing what feels good. Remember sleep before midnight is the most nurturing and restful. I love a meditation to go to sleep, doesn't allow my mind to tell me stories and keep me up and ensures a deep, restful sleep.
- Get comfortable spending time alone. Take yourself on a date, do more of what you love or schedule in time for 'being' instead of 'doing'. If you are anything like I used to be, you probably couldn't think of anything worse so start with a walk in nature, take yourself to a cafe to read your book or to the beach for some grounding and reenergising.
- Have fun and don't take life to seriously! This is so SO important. But I'll be the first one to admit it has taken time (years) to find balance and what works for me and my situation. So don't forget that, enjoy your own health journey, remind yourself there is only this present moment and you are doing the best you can. Another good way to put things into perspective is asking yourself, will it matter 5 years from now?
And remember there are no quick fixes, but only long term sustainable lifestyle changes. Start with one small thing at a time if you are overwhelmed and add something new each week.
Caution - when you are tuning in, loving and honouring your body - life changes for the better, it really does.
Don't forget to reach out on your journey if you need help, support or guidance - I 100% believe in you and want you to put yourself first....always. xo